Have you ever got asked if your dad is a stay at home parent? Most of us would say no, we usually assume that our fathers have an income. When we ask about what our mothers do, a lot of people ask “Wait, does your mom work?” It is society’s way of generalizing how mothers are expected to stay at home and care for the children while the fathers go to work and provide for the family
Growing up with a stay at home mom, I always got my friends asking me “What does your mom do all day?” It kind of makes it seem like it is seen as a bad thing to have a stay at home mom. Makes it assume that stay at home moms just sit around the couch and watch the kinds once in a while, while poor dad has to be the one making an income for the family. Yet, when both parents are working, mothers are the ones looked down on for choosing to work rather than support their children. How do mothers win in this situation, if they even do win that is?
When being a stay at home mom an attachment style parenting happens where the mother runs to the child/ baby every time they begin to cry so that the mother can help as soon as possible. This leads to the mother building a strong relationship with the child, even though responding to every little cry or fuss can lead to the child to grow up possibly being spoiled. You may be asking; how do fathers get that connection with the child? Simple, fathers come home and care for the mothers and tell them how good of a job they are doing with their child and even hold the child for a few hours, going back to sleep to work the next day and let the mother take care of the child.
I support stay at home mothers, but I feel like we should look at stay at home mothers not as gold diggers who have it easy, but as a job that has long term benefits for the child. I also see that both parents should take turns stay at home parents, that way the responsibilities both balance out. Women should have the right to be parents and work, and not be the only ones held accountable for their child. It takes two to make a child, so it also takes two to care for one.